Today's poems [6.16.07]

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A renowned archaeologist Vern,
Who unearthed an Egyptian clay urn,
Found himself devastated
When the markings, translated,
Clearly read, "No Refill/No Return." 

The voice from the UFO cried,
"To the smartest we'll give a free ride!"
Several men volunteered,
But the ship disappeared
With a whale and two dolphins inside. 

A prim young fellatrix named Prue 
               Said, "There's one thing a nice girl won't do. 
                    You may not touch my rear end, 
                    But if my up-here end 
               Appeals, there's a hole in that too." 

Said an ardent young bridegroom named Trask,
"I will grant any wish that you ask,"
Said the bride, "Kiss me, dearie,
Until I grow weary,"
But he died of old age at the task. 

A disgusting young man named McGill 
               Made his neighbors exceedingly ill 
                    When they learned of his habits 
                    Involving white rabbits 
               And a bird with a flexible bill 

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