Today's jokes [6.7.07]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?

Wayne takes a shower after three periods.

What do you give the paedophile who has everything?
Another parish

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get
it up for my wife anymore.

"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can
do."

The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your
clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie
down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said.
"Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

GOD will save me

   The police were going door to door warning everyone to evacuate
   because the river was rising. One door they came to, the man said "GOD
   will save me".
   The river continued to rise and he was forced to move everthing to the
   second floor of his house. A man in a boat came by and offered to save
   him. Again he said "GOD will save me".
   Pretty soon the second story was flooded and he was forced to get on
   the roof of his house. A helicopter came by and tried to save him and
   yet again he said "GOD will save me".
   It wasn't long before the house was completely covered and the man
   died and went to heaven. He confronted God with "Why didn't you save
   me, GOD?"
   And God said " I sent you the police, a boat and a helicopter. Why did
   you stay in the house?"

Magnussen goes to a marriage counselor and says, "My wife isn't as much 
fun as she used to be."
The marriage counselor says, "Do you still enjoy a roll in the hay?"
Magnussen says, "As much as the next fellow."
The counselor says, "Maybe between you and the next fellow, she's 
exhausted." 

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   June '07 Jokes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30