Today's jokes [6.30.07]

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The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the
sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her
husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee.

The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him
trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the
Judge, especially since she had been so "matter-of-fact"
about the whole thing all during the trial.

"Mrs. Roth," he began, "was there any point that morning
where you felt pity for your husband ?"

"Well...  yeah...  I guess..." she replied.

"And when was that?"  pressed the attorney.

"Well...," she replied, "when he asked for his third cup."

   A little boy walks up to his father and says, "Dad, what does a pussy
   look like?"
   Father responds, "well son, before or after sex?"
   Son, "Well, before?"
   Father, "picture a tulip with all the petals son."
   Son, "well what about after?"
   Father, "Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!"
   

Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the 
church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration - 
that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. 

"Gladly," responded the good man. 

When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at 
once to the "appreciation" column. There he read: "The minister extends 
his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in 
which it was given."

What is old, wrinkled, and hangs out your underwear? 

Your Mother...

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

From a catalogue.

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