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Today's jokes [6.28.07]

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How do you make a cat drink?

1 cat
2 lemons
Vodka
Mix then serve

1. 




What is pink and moist and split in the middle?

A grapefruit!

2. 




Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One 
notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders.
He says "When did you start wearing them?" To which the other man 
replies "Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car."

3. 




The boss called one of his employees into the office.  "Rob," he 
said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off 
in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales 
position, and one month after that you were promoted to district 
manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, 
you were promoted to vice- chairman. Now it's time for me to 
retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you 
say to that?" 

"Thanks," said the employee. 

"Thanks?" the boss replied.a "Is that all you can say?" 

"I suppose not," the employee said. "Thanks, Dad." 

4. 




Blondes dumb?!?!?

 After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a
blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food
to replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk
and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty
hot,so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde
walks in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."


5. 



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