Today's jokes [6.27.07]

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Special High Intensity Teaching



Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
From students, it will be our policy to keep all students well
taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any 
other school. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. 
on the course, please see your lecturer.  You will be immediately placed 
at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled
at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).  Those who fail to 
take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE 
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).  Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they 
graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of 
S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
teaching others.  We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING
LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL
OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course
emphasizes on how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).


Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Have you heard about the new orgasm pill just approved by the FDA for women?
It comes with a 16 inch applicator 

An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles
into a Podiatrist's office instead and weaves over to the
receptionist.
Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination
bed and says, "Stick it through that curtain."
Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out his
penis and sticks it through the crack in the curtains.
"That's not a foot!" screams the nurse on duty.
"Holy shit, lady!" the drunk exclaims, "I never knew you had
a minimum!"

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh
 theater.  When the usher came by and noticed this, he 
 whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed
 one seat."
 
 The man groaned but didn't budge.  The usher became
 impatient.  
 
 "Sir, if you don't get up from  there I'm going to have to
 call the manager."  
 
 Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who
 turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of
 his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the
 manager returned and stood over the man.
 
 Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but
 with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.  
 
 The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All
 right buddy, what's your name?"  
 
 "Sam," the man moaned.  
 
 "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied
 "the balcony."

 Sent by Zena

There is a child molester and a young boy walking through a deep remote 
forest. After a while the boy gets very cold and frightened so he says, 
"Mister i'm scared and cold, please let me go",the child molester cries out,
"You think your scared I have to walk home alone!" 

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