Today's jokes [6.26.07]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad..." 
"What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a 
drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank 
you!!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..." "WHAT??!!" "When you come in to 
spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?" 

Definition of Programmer



Programmer:

A person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after 
innumberable poundings, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with 
micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures from inconclusive 
documents and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious 
reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding 
a hopelessly defenseless department that was unfortunate enough to ask for the information 
in the first place. 

Q: What is a blonde who died her hair brown?
A: Artificial Intelligence.

"Doctor, doctor!" shouted the woman coming into the doctors offfice.  "I
think I'm turning into a man"  then the doctor says,  " Now hold on
little lady  what makes you think that you're turning into a man?"  "
Well" said the woman "I'm starting to grow hair on my chest" and then
the  doctor asked, " Well then, how far down your chest is your hair
growing? " and then she replied,  "All the way down to my dick".

How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight?
He enters a duck.
How can you tell if a Pole is present? 
He bets money on the duck.
How can you tell if an Italian is present?
The duck wins. 

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   June '07 Jokes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30