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Today's jokes [6.23.07]

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What do people do for fun on Halloween? 

They monsterbate

1. 




   A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in
   it. He turns around to
   push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her
   breast. He says, "Oh, I'm
   so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be
   able to forgive me." She
   looks at him a few seconds and says, "That's all right. If your penis
   is as hard as your
   elbow, I'm in room 204."
   


2. 




On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said
"CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms. 

3. 




Dear Abby:

My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated 
our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and 
supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue. 
He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him.  Every 
time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was wrong 
and begs me to forgive him.
This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat.
I don't know what to do.

Signed
Frustrated                                                  

----------------

Dear Frustrated:                                            

You should dump him.  Now that you are finally a New York Senator, you 
don't need him anymore.

4. 




Q.      Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A.      It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.




5. 



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