Today's jokes [6.21.07]

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An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots
of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a 
surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where 
the cake was placed.

Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and 
immediately burst into a crazed laughter, for there in front of 
him was a huge cake, with 40 marzipan eyes!

The guest, asked him why he laughed, and after some minutes 
of laughing and whipping his eyes, the doctor said:

"I'm just thinking of my buddy who will be 50 next week, who is 
a gynecologist!"

Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry,
but I'm going to have to let one of you go."

Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority."
Female Employee: "And I'm a woman."
Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an
age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin."

...To which they all turn to look at the helpless young,
white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds:
"I think I might be gay..." 

PCMCIA     People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN       It Still Does Nothing
APPLE      Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI       System Can't See It
DOS        Defunct Operating System
BASIC      Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM        I Blame Microsoft
DEC        Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM     Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2       Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW        World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH  Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

What have a blonde and a computer got in common?

You don't realise how much you miss them until they go down on you!


Sent by Tiggsy

Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together. 
Goldstein says to his friend, "Last week was one of the worst weeks of my 
entire life."

"What happened?" asks Birnbaum.

Goldstein moans, "My wife and I went to Florida on vacation. It rained for 
seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands of 
dollars on the credit card. I came back to New York and found out that my 
brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to 
top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son 
having sex with the garment model on my desk!"

"You think you had a bad week?" responds Birnbaum. "My week was even 
worse! I went to Florida on vacation with my wife and it rained for seven 
days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands on the 
credit card. Then, when I got back to New York, I found out that my 
brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to 
top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son 
having sex with the garment model on my desk!"

"How can you say that your week was worse than mine?" asks Goldstein. "It 
was identical!"

"You shmuck!" replies Birnbaum. "I manufacture men's garments..."

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