Today's jokes [6.2.07]

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What do you call a dog with two balls and no hind legs?

Sparky

One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his
warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says "Big
Chief, no shit". the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief
should be fine tomorrow.

The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill. the next morning
the warrior was sent back to the witch doctor and says "big chief, no 
shit". the doctor gives him five pills and tells him to give them to the 
chief.

The next day the warrior appears at the witch doctor's house yet again
saying "big chief, no shit". the doctor gets annoyed and so gives the
warrior the whole bottle of pills to give to the chief.

The next day the warrior goes back to the witch doctor (AGAIN):

"Big shit, no chief".

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the
weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest
explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few
paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What
landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the
circle god kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same,
except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest
and the money that landed inside the circle god kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money
into the air and what god wants, god takes." 

When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed
experiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was a
demagogue.
        When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evil
empire, I knew he was a dangerous kook.
        When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War by
escalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclear
annihilation.
        When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiated
its past, I knew it was all Gorbachev's genius, and that fool Reagan
had nothing to do with it.
        Because if that fool Reagan was right all along...
        ...what kind of fool am I?
        --Jules Feiffer

Two cows were talking in the field one day.

First Cow: Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?
Second Cow: Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it? 

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