Today's jokes [6.17.07]

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Here is this guy who really takes care of his body,
he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.
One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his
body. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over,
except his penis, and he decies to do something about it.
He goes to the beach, strips completey and burries himself
in the sand, except for his penis sticking out of the sand.
Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one
looks down and says "There is no justice in this world".
The other lady says "What do you mean?"
The first lady says "Look at that".
When I was 10 Yeras old I was afriad of it.
When I was 20, I was curious about it.
When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
When I was 40, I asked for it.
When I was 50, I paid for it.
When I was 60, I prayed for it.
When I was 70, I forgot about it.
And now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing wild 

What were Michael Jackson's baby's first words?


                             Which one's Mommy?

In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton, Woodward
   and Bernstein of Watergate fame are in negotiations with publishers to
   write a new book about the scandal. Working title: "All the
   President's Women."

What do you call a man with his right hand in a sharks mouth?

Lefty. 

There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of 
the party was "war". 

The first person comes up onto the stage and says, "I'm an 
atomic bomb." He gets his applause and steps down.

The second person comes up and says, "I'm a hydrogen 
bomb." Again, there's applause and he steps down.

And then a naked little man comes up to the stage and says, 
"I'm dynamite." 

Everybody runs away hysterically. When one of them is asked 
why, he says, "Didn't you see how small his fuse was?"

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