Today's jokes [6.13.07]

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   A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-line
   dating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck and
   he said he'd quit -- seems they'd matched him up with his wife.

There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing
how much their husbands could get up their crotch. 
The first women said, "My husband can get his whole hand up me". 
The second lady said, "My husband can get his whole head up me". 
The third lady slid down the bar stool. 

Two fags were walking down the street and passed a handsome guy.  One
fag turned to the other and said, "See that stud there, Bruce?"
        "Sure."
        "Well, let me tell you, he's a tremendous fuck!"
        "No shit?" Bruce asked.
        "Well, hardly any."

There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to
the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after
day. So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to,
so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing.

So he turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything."

The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"

"I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist. 
"Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people
are fond of animals.
As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are very
attached to."
"But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel, ummm... 
*physically* attracted to my horse."
"Hmmm," the doctor asked, "Is it male or female?" 
"Female, of course!" the man replied.
"What do you think I am...GAY???" 

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