Today's stories [5.25.07]

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Presenter (to palaeontologist):"So what would happen if you mated
the woolly mammoth with, say,an elephant?"
Expert: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a
mule, we'd get a sort of half-mammoth.
Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?"
Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks."
(GLR)

A survey by cosmetics firm Avon revealed that British women 
would rather iron than have sex in the morning.  I've visited 
Britain, and I've got an even better idea for British men and 
women: how about *brushing your teeth* in the morning? 

Los Angeles entrepreneur, Poor Innocent Guy David Morgan,
52, opened a new business called Anger Behind Closed Doors.
Clients pay $10 a session to enter a padded room where they
can vent their pent-up hostility by attacking a green dummy.

"How many times do you want to choke someone because they
really deserved it?  And, of course, you can't do it?"
Morgan told the Los Angeles Times. "But here you can do,
say, feel what you want."

After acting on their anger, clients unwind in the 15,000-
square-foot facility's "thought and relaxation area," which
comprises four private booths where they can listen to
soothing music.

Already the SLOTHS are organizing an effort to close Anger
Behind closed Doors.  One SLOTHS spokeswomen said, "When I
yell at my husband or double-bind him, I want him to suffer.
He has no right to go off to this place and vent his
frustrations so he can feel good."

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