Today's stories [5.19.07]

Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.

SIGN INSIDE OF LIFEBOAT:

        "Some wetness is normal.  If submersion occurs, move arms
        in a swimming motion."

Seen in a Maine restaurant: 

     "Open 7 days a week and weekends." 

My father is an ex-Marine who served in the Vietnam War. He tells me many 
stories about pranks and stuff he pulled, and here is one that stood out.
He was on patrol, in the pitch black night, with orders NOT TO FIRE unless 
an enemy was spotted. In the pitch black night. Well he wasn't about to 
wait until the VK was in his face with a combat knife before he started 
shooting, so he looked around for a reason to open fire. And they found 
one.
In the distance, they heard a Vietnamise bird, nicknamed the 'fuck you' 
bird because of its 'unique cry.'
They got on the radio.
"This is 'Bubbles' (his nickname, another story), we have spotted a gook, 
sir, request permission to open fire."
"Roger, open fire."
They then began shooting wherever the bird was heard. Of course, they 
couldn't just stop there...
"This is bubbles, Requesting airstrike..."
Yup. He called in Willie Peter, Napalm, Airstrikes, 'Puff the Magic 
Dragon' (a large plane with a lot of machine guns that could level an area 
the size of a football field in a matter of seconds.) as well as laying 
thier own steel.
In the morning, the bird was still there. But 30 VK's were confirmed dead.
Needless to say, my father was put in for a commendation. But because he 
wasn't a brownnoser, he didnt get it.

Sent by Bradley

By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   May '07 Stories Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31