Today's quotes [5.5.07] Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"Whenever I read "Time" or "Newsweek" or such magazines, I wash my hands afterward. But how to wash off the small but odious stain such reading leaves on the mind?" --Edward Abbey
* Son :How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father:I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it. Son :Is it true, Dad, that I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries? Father:That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE.
As is well known, an elk that is shot within fifteen feet of your hunting vehicle will still pull himself together enough to gallop to the very bottom of the steepest canyon within five miles. - Patrick F. McManus
"What do most people do on a date?" "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -- Response by Mike, Age 10
"Do you know why God witheld the sense of humour from women? That we may love you instead of laughing at you." - Mrs Patrick Campbell British actress Said to a man (1940) "The Life of Mrs Pat" M.Peters
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31