Today's quotes [5.18.07]

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What's another word for Thesaurus? 

     - Steve Wright 

"Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted"

"Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place." 

     - Billy Crystal. 

"By ten I was so wasted I had been officially downgraded to a lower rung
 on the evolutionary ladder. Some guy in a suit came up, listened to my
 attempts to string words together, revoked my rights as Homo Sapiens
 on the spot and reclassified me as some kind of plant life. I had to
 fill in all kinds of forms and shit. It was very embarrassing."

-- Michael Marshall Smith, "Spares"

I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for
   the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers and even
   sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer from physical
   deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress
   balls.
   -- Editor of the Limerick Times (Limerick, Ireland)

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