Today's quotes [5.10.07] Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." - Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece
don't hit a man with glasses... hit him with a baseball bat
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." Joe E Lewis.
Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease". Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."
"... he repeats until he fails, half a goon and half a god, a man's not made of steel..." -- Devo, "Gates of Steel"
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