Today's poems [5.7.07]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

               A fellow who lives in St. Paul 
               Has one hexadronical ball. 
                    The cube of its weight, 
                    Plus his penis, times eight 
               Is his phone number; give him a call. 

There was a young fellow named Charteris 
               Put his hand where his young lady's garter is. 
                    She said, "I don't mind, 
                    And up higher you'll find 
               The place where my fucker and farter is." 

            A nudist resort at Benares 
            Took a midget in all unawares. 
                But he made members weep 
                For he just couldn't keep 
            His nose out of private affairs. 

There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel 
            Who said, "They can all go to hell! 
                What they do to my wife--- 
                Why it ruins my life; 
            And the worst is, they all do it well." 

A widow who lived in Rangoon 
               Hung a black-ribboned wreath on her womb, 
                    "To remind me," she said, 
                    "Of my husband who's dead, 
               And of what put him into his tomb." 

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   May '07 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31