Today's poems [5.25.07]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

A gardener named Kenneth McDeare
Likes plants more than women, we fear.
"He's hardly perennial."
Say folks who know Kenny well.
"He only comes up once a year" 

A whore grown too old to get laid 
               Turned parfumeuse, finding it paid 
                    To concoct Fleur de Floozie 
                    From the juice of her coosie 
               (Substantial discount to the trade). 

There was a young lady of Exeter, 
                                        So pretty, that men craned their necks at her. 
                                                      One was even so brave 
                                                      As to take out and wave 
                                        The distinguishing mark of his sex at her. 

ROBIN HOOD

You've heard the tale of Robin Hood,
and how he did poor people good.
But there's more to this story,
of Sherwood forests pride and glory.
At night when all the robbing was done,
the merry men would have their fun.
In fact it would be fair to say,
the merry men were quite GAY.
As little John starts to unwind,
Robin takes it from behind,
and as they frolic in the grass,
Robin takes it up the arse. 
One day when they were all at play,
a cute maiden came their way.
She walked up to Friar Tuck and asked 
if he would like a FUCK.
Little John couldn't believe his ears,
she 's offering sex to al us queers.
As he recovers from the shock,
Robin presents her with his cock.
For Marian this was sheer bliss,
as he fullfilled her every wish.
When all was done she gave a whine.
Thanks boys for a lovely time.
But for this pleasure,
you must pay.
I've got pox have anice day.
Listen here said Friar Tuck,
we don't even give a fuck.
the jokes on you, you silly cow.
We've got AID's whose fucked now? 

Sent by Gina

My face in the mirror
                isn't wrinkled or drawn;
        My house isn't dirty,
                the cobwebs are gone.
        My garden looks lovely,
                and so does my lawn;
        I think I might never
                put my glasses back on!

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   May '07 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31