Today's poems [5.18.07]

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There is a young lass of Valencia
For whom sex is a form of dementia.
For the first hour she's quiet
Then she builds to a riot
With a noise that grows quickly intensia. 

A modest young girl named Oola
Once donned a grass skirt to dance Hula
A cow ate the grass
Exposing her ass
Now she's no longer modest but coola 

               There was a young man of St. Giles 
               Who'd walked thousands and thousands of miles, 
                    From the Cape of Good Hope, 
                    Just to bugger the Pope, 
               But he couldn't---the pontiff had piles. 

There was a bluestocking in Florence 
Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, 
Till a Spanish grandee 
Got her off with his knee, 
And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

A lad from far-off Transvaal 
            Was lustful, but tactful withal. 
                He'd say, just for luck, 
                "Mam'selle, do you fuck?" 
            But he'd bow till he almost would crawl. 

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