Today's jokes [5.27.07]

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Q: Why are brides dressed in white?
A: So they match the rest of the appliances.

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a
   few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to
   handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem:
   she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species
   available.
   
   While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed
   Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Now
   Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female,
   and he wasn't very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they
   might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Mike to satisfy the
   female gorilla. So he was approached with a proposition: would he be
   willing to screw the gorilla--for five hundred bucks? Mike replied
   that he might be interested, but would have to think the matter over.
   
   The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer,
   but only under three conditions:
   
   "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her," and "Second, I
   want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this
   union."
   
   The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what
   could be the third?
   
   "Well," said Mike, "You've gotta give me another week to come up with
   the five hundred bucks."
   

How can you tell if your college roomate is gay?

-His dick tastes like shit. 

The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with
her young charges and she asked them what they wanted to be
when they grew up.
A twelve-year-old said, "I want to be a prostitute."
The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When they
revived her, she raised her head from the ground and gasped,
"What did you say?"
The young girl shrugged. "I said I want to be a prostitute."
"A prostitute!" the Mother Superior said, "Oh, praise sweet
Jesus! And I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant." 

What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called?

                             Missionary Position Impossible.

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