Today's jokes [5.22.07]

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Q: Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat?
A: Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed.
….Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed, and go the 
fridge.

What does the band now play when Clinton enters the room?

Kneel to the Chief!

   The Young Man's Big Mouth
   A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says
   the condoms
   come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
   "Well," he said, "I've
   been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the
   condoms because I think
   tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then
   we're going out. And
   I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me,
   she'll want me all the
   time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his
   purchaseand leaves.
   Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her
   parents. He asks if he
   might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but
   continues praying for
   several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that
   you were such a
   religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me
   that your father is a
   pharmacist."
   

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one 
day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a 
change.

"I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," 
he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up."

Nine hands went up.

"Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.

"Too much trouble," came the reply.

The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were 
beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of 
passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to
whisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"
Her tone upon answering was slightly more than irritable. "Of course you 
are!" she said. "And also the best too. I don't know why you men always 
ask the same old ridiculous questions."

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