Today's jokes [5.19.07]

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   What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg ?
   1) You only get laid once.
   2) You only get eaten once.
   3) It takes you seven min. to get hard in boiling water.
   4) You have to come in a box with 11 other guys.
   5) The only one that ever sits on your face is your mother.
   

The blind daters had really hit it off and, at the end of the evening
as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the
fellow said, "Before we go any further, Charlene, tell me - do you
have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?"
"As a matter of fact," smiled the girl, "I do happen to have a foot
fetish - but I suppose I'd settle for maybe seven or eight inches."

Some of the most tactful people on Earth are English.  One 
office supervisor called a secretary in to give her the bad news 
that she was being fired.  He started the conversation with: 
"Miss Symthe, I really don't know how we're going to get along 
without you, but starting Monday, we're going to try.

Santas Diversion



Santa was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman was
awaiting his arrival. She begged him to stay and cuddle with her on the couch.



Santa declined, saying "Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents, you know."



Trying again, the lovely young thing removed her clothing down to her underwear.
"OH Santa, won't you please stay?" she begged. Taking a long look, Santa sighed
and delivered a not too believable, "Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents
you know."



Not to be denied, this gorgeous female stripped off every stitch of remaining
clothing, smiled and said in the sexiest voice imaginable, "Oh, Santa, please
reconsider? Stay with me?"



With a very pained look on his face, Santa groaned and said very slowly, "Ho -ho,
gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents you know."



And with that, he turned and left. Two minutes passed, and Santa reappeared, plopping
himself down on the couch next to the beautiful girl.



"Santa! You decided to stay!" she exclaimed gleefully.

Santa grinned and said "Hey - hey, gotta stay. Can't get up the chimney THIS way!"




Sent by Neicey

Q: Who are Sven War, Ollie Famine, Piter Pestilence, and Jergi Death?
A: The four Norseman of the Apocolypse.

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