Today's jokes [5.13.07]

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A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical 
island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then one day a 
beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes 
up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty 
years, digging for clams, and eating fruits and berries. She says, "Well, 
what did you do for love?" He says, "Love? What's that?" She says, "I'll 
show you." She shows him. Then she shows him again. Then she shows him
one more time. When they're finally done, she says, "Well, how do you like 
love?" He says, "It's great. But look what you did to my clam digger."

What does an elephant keep up its trunk?

A Yard 'n' half o' snot!

A partially deaf gentleman was extolling the virtues of his new hearing 
aid. "It's marvelous," he enthused to a friend. "Since I acquired it I can 
hear the birds chirping on the hearth. I can also hear clearly a 
conversation being held in an apartment a full block away!"
"You don't say," said his friend. "What kind is it?"
The proud owner consulted his wristwatch and answered, "Twenty minutes 
after two." 

In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw
a woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, and
couldn't bear passing her by. He completed the job for her,
and, soaked to the skin, exclaimed jovially, "There, little
lady, that's done!" "Quiet," she ordered him. "You'll wake
up my husband. He's taking a nap in the back seat." 

What do you call Toys R' Us in the hood?

We B Toyz N' Shit

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