Today's stories [4.6.07]

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Horace Wells:

Pioneered the use of anesthesia in the 1840s

How he died: Used anesthetics to commit suicide

While experimenting with various gases during his anesthesia research,
Wells became addicted to chloroform. In 1848 he was arrested for spraying
two women with sulfuric acid. In a letter he wrote from jail, he blamed
chloroform for his problems, claiming that he'd gotten high before the
attack. Four days later he was found dead in his cell. He'd anaesthetized
himself with chloroform and slashed open his thigh with a razor.

I wanted to make an impression at a family reunion and remember the 
names of all of the new husband's family members.  There was one 
gent whom I'd asked his name and tried very to remember but failed 
repeatedly.  Finally he bailed me out and said his name was Dick.  
Without a thought I quickly said, "Gosh, how could I forget?  You 
*look* like a 'Dick'!!!"

My wife and I had just finished tucking our five young ones into bed one
evening when we heard sobbing coming from three- year-old Billy's room.
Rushing to his side, we found him crying hysterically. He had accidentally
swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking
could change his mind.

Desperate to calm him, my wife palmed a penny that she happened to have
in her pocket and pretended to pull it from Billy's ear. Billy was
delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from my wife's hand, swallowed it
and demanded cheerfully, "Do it again, mum!"

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