Today's stories [4.3.07]

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Los Angeles entrepreneur, Poor Innocent Guy David Morgan,
52, opened a new business called Anger Behind Closed Doors.
Clients pay $10 a session to enter a padded room where they
can vent their pent-up hostility by attacking a green dummy.

"How many times do you want to choke someone because they
really deserved it?  And, of course, you can't do it?"
Morgan told the Los Angeles Times. "But here you can do,
say, feel what you want."

After acting on their anger, clients unwind in the 15,000-
square-foot facility's "thought and relaxation area," which
comprises four private booths where they can listen to
soothing music.

Already the SLOTHS are organizing an effort to close Anger
Behind closed Doors.  One SLOTHS spokeswomen said, "When I
yell at my husband or double-bind him, I want him to suffer.
He has no right to go off to this place and vent his
frustrations so he can feel good."

My cousin Denney came to visit from the farm last summer. I asked
how his bus ride was and he said he had a good ride except for a
rude lady he encountered.

I asked what the problem was, and he said that when the lady got
on there were no seats left, so he offered her his seat. She
declined since she was only riding for a short distance. However,
while she was standing with her butt right in his face, he noticed
her dress was caught up in her crack. He decided to be nice and help
her so he pulled it out.

Well, she turned around and wopped him hard enough to turn his lights
out!

Then I asked him what he did then?

And Denney said that since she was that rude, he poked the dress right
back in there! 

The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what 
I looked for in a woman.

Naturally I replied, "Big tits."

He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."

So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."

"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you 
want to spend the rest of your life with?"

He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch 
laughing until my gut hurt. "Spend the rest of my life with one 
woman? No woman's tits are that big."

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