Today's quotes [4.16.07]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

"Ack! I come back from holiday and someone stole my chair, my phone cord, my
 general manager, my technical manager _and_ Emma!"
                        -- me

"From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed
 with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
                        -- Groucho Marx, from "The Book of Insults"

You're everywhere.  You're omnivorous.

                -- Homer Simpson, to God
                   There's No Disgrace Like Home

"If all it takes is an infinite number of monkeys with typewriters, how come
 AOL haven't written any Shakespeare yet?"
                        -- from the sig of Andy Dingley, alt.hackers

"If infinite rednecks fired infinite shotguns at an infinite number of road
 signs, they'd eventually create all the great literary works of the world in
 braille."
                        -- Discordian Quote File

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   April '07 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30