Today's poems [4.30.07]

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A lawyer who was a newlywed groom
Took his bride to their honeymoon room
But they talked the whole night
As to who had the right
To do what, with which, and to whom. 

There was a young man named McNamiter 
               With a tool of prodigious diameter. 
                    But it wasn't the size 
                    Gave the girls a surprise, 
               But his rhythm---iambic pentameter. 

Another young lady would make 
               Advances to snake after snake. 
                    Though men she had met 
                    Got her diaphragm wet, 
               She wanted her glottis to shake. 

There was a young fellow of Mayence,
Who fucked his own ass - in defiance
Not only of custom
And morals, dad bust him,
But most of the known laws of science.

               A patrician young fellow named Lear 
               Used to wash off his bollocks with beer. 
                    Said he, "By the gods, 
                    This is good for the cods--- 
               It will lengthen my fucking career. 

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