Today's poems [4.18.07]

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Dr. Seuss Meets Fornigate
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I am Starr. Starr I are.
I'm a brilliant barri-star.
I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see,
Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky?
Did you grope her in your house?
Did you grope beneath her blouse?
Did she give you gifts and ties?
Were you spied by prying eyes?

I did not do that here or there!
I did not do that anywhere!
I did not do that in a chair!
I went not near her giant hair!
I did not join -- even for fun,
The Mile High Club in Air Force One,
So stow your feathers and your tar,
I did not do her Starr you are!

Did you smile?
Did you Flirt?
Did you peek beneath her skirt?
And did you tell the girl to lie,
When called upon to testify?

That is it; you've gone too far!
I do not like you Starr you are!
I will not answer any more!
In fact, I think I'll start a war!
The public's easy to distract,
When bombs are falling on Iraq!

A bather whose clothing was strewed
By breezes that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along,
And, unless I am wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.

The was a young man from Dundee,
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp.
When asked "did it hurt",
He said "No, not a bit,
It can do it again if it wants."

A gallant young Frenchman named Grandhomme 
            Was attempting a girl on a tandem. 
                At the height of the make 
                She slammed on the brake, 
            And scattered his semen at random 

                    There was a young lad from Nahant
                            
                    Who was made like the Sensitive Plant.
                            When asked, "Do you fuck?"
                            He replied, "No such luck.
                            
                    I would if I could but I can't."
                            

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