Today's poems [4.13.07]

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               There once was a midwife of Gaul 
               Who had hardly no business at all. 
                    She cried, "Hell and damnation! 
                    There's no procreation--- 
               God made the French penis too small."

                    In the soap opera heard in Gomorrah,
                            
                    The heroine wakes up in horror
                            To find that a prick
                            Nearly three inches thick
                            
                    Is halfway up her tune-in-tomorrow.
                            

There was a young man named Tom
Who ran screaming home to his mom.
The fear of the Bomb
Scared him back in the womb---
The bastard, he wasn't so dumb!

The nephew of one of the czars 
Used to suck off Rasputin at Yars,
Till the peasants revolted,
The royal family bolted - 
Now they're under the sickle and stars.

Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was scarlet red.
The reason for this colour scheme
was the pick-axe in it's head.

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