Today's poems [4.10.07]

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There once was a lady from Pinner
Whose boyfriend wanked on her dinner
She said if you please
I don't mind some cream teas
But I like my white sauce a bit thinner 

                    A studious professor named Nestor
                            
                    Bet a whore all his books he could best her.
                            But she drained out his balls
                            And skipped up the walls,
                            
                    Beseeching poor Nestor to rest her.
                            

There was a young lady from Eaton
Whose figure had plenty of meat on.
She said: 'Wed me, Jack,
And you'll find that my back
Is a nice place to warm your cold feet on'.

There was a young fellow named Bliss
Whose sex life was strangely amiss,
    For even with Venus
    His recalcitrant penis
Would never do better than t
                           h
                           i
                           s
                           .

Mary had a little lamb,
     Its fleece was slightly grey.
     It didn't have a father,
     Just some borrowed DNA.

     It sort of had a mother,
     Though the ovum was on loan.
     It was not so much a lambkin
     As a little lamby clone.

     And soon it had a fellow clone,
     And soon it had some more.
     It made the children laugh and sing,
     The teachers found it droll;
     There were too many lamby clones
     For Mary to control.

     No other could control the sheep
     Since their programs didn't vary,
     So the scientists resolved it all
     By simply cloning Mary.

     But now they feel quite sheepish,
     Those scientists unwary.
     One problem solved, but what to do
     With Mary, Mary, Mary?

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