Today's jokes [4.7.07]

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   A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years
   before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked
   about 10 feet behind their husbands.
   
   She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked
   several yards behind their wives.
   
   She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is
   marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve
   this reversal of roles?"
   
   Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines"
   

The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that 
her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and 
adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor. 
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any 
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told 
her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and, until 
then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms. 
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman 
told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. 
The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother saying, "Oh 
Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating a woman!"

There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering 
the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The 
priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven." The young woman said, 
"Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Take seven lemons and 
squeeze them into a glass and then drink it."
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest said "NO, but it will wipe the smile off of your face."

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when
a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his
butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the
baby was his and asked what was he going to do about
it?
Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until
the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calendar,
and one day the teenager who had been collecting the
meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been
counting too, tell your mother, when you take this
parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat
she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The
woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher
and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk,
and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the
expression on HIS face!"

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease,
eventually becoming depressed and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will
be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be
deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be 
delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be
debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose. And on 
a more positive note, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted. 

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