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Today's jokes [4.3.07]

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"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set
the man's broken leg.

"Well, doc, 25 years ago ..."

"Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."

"Like I was saying...25 years ago, when I first started working on the
farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful
daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted.

I said no, everything is fine. "Are you sure?", she asked. "I'm sure,
I said. "Isn't there anything I can do for you?" she wanted to know.
"I reckon not" I replied ...

"Excuse me," said the doctor, "What does this story have to do with your leg?"

"Well, this morning," the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what
she meant, I fell off the roof!"

1. 




A father came home from a long business trip to find his son 
riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. "Where did you get the 
money for the bike? It must have cost $300." 

"Easy, Dad," the boy replied. "I earned it hiking." 

"Come on," the father said. "Tell me the truth." 

"That is the truth," the boy replied. "Every night you were gone, 
Mr. Reynolds from the grocery store would come over to see 
Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!"

2. 




A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: 
"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most 
difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard.
Well, you know how she is.  
"Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that 
she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and 
you begged me not to marry her.  
"You were perfectly right.  
"You want to speak with her? All right."  He looks up from the 
telephone and calls to his wife in the next room:  
"Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"

3. 




Two goldfish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says  "Do you 
know how to drive this thing?"

4. 




What do you call three blondes on Santa's Lap??

Ho Ho Ho


Sent by Adam

5. 



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