Today's jokes [4.29.07]

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An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his 
options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have 3 possible 
donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an 
automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman 
who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. 
The 3rd is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 
years. Which do you want?"

"I'll take the lawyer's heart", said the patient.

After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why 
he had chosen the donor he did.  "It was easy", said the 
patient, "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."

A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years.
They had the following conversation: 
Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water.
Woman: Ok. 
Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water.
Woman: Ok. 
Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water.
After giving these instructions to the woman, she asks, "Can you tell me 
what's wrong with me Dr.?
Dr.: Yeah. You do not drink enough water.

What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?

Data transfer. 

At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician, charged with 
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!"

An old man goes to the doctor and says "Dr., I don't know what's wrong
with me.  My dick is orange."
The  Dr. tells him to pull down his pants and let him take a look.  He
has no idea what is wrong so he asks the guy if he has recently painted
anything orange.
The old man said "No."
The Dr. thinks for a minute and then asks the guy if he has recently
been exposed to any chemicals at work.
The old man said "No, I'm retired."
The Dr. then asks the guy if he could have been working with any
chemicals in his garage.
The old man replied "No Dr., I told you, I'm retired.  All I do is sit
around all day, watch pornos and eat Cheetos...

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