Today's jokes [4.27.07]

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   Little Johnny was in class again.Teacher asked everyone "Can anyone
   tell me a sentence
   with the word definitely in it?" Meg puts up her hand."The sky is
   definitely blue." "Thats
   not bad,Meg," says the teacher, "but the sky can be grey or red."
   Young Sally tried :"The
   grass is definitely green." "Good try Sally,but grass can be yellow or
   brown too!"
   Suddenly Little Johnny's hand shoots up."Miss Brown does a fart have
   lumps?" The
   teacher was horrified."No of course not Johnny! What are you talking
   about?" So Johnny
   says,"Well then Miss brown, I've definitely shit my pants!"
   

   One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd
   toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of
   catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer
   her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but
   succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for
   assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided
   to go to hospital.
   
   As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with
   her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date
   said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit
   down, then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to
   blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and
   daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was
   nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for
   something to eat. Once he was gone the mother turned to the father.
   
   The mother said, "That's wonderful. Isn't he smart? What do you think
   he's going to be when he grows older?!"
   
   The father replies "From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law!"
   

What's the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle?

If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish.

How can you tell if a blonde is a redneck?

If she can chew tobacco and suck dick at the
same time and still know which one to spit out.

What do you get if you sleep under a cow?

A PAT on the head.


Sent by Jimmy

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