Today's jokes [4.18.07]

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Why does a Jewish American Princess close her eyes during sex? 

     She can't stand it to see her husband enjoy himself. 

On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local
brothel and the madam said, "You'll have to wait."
"But there's lots of girls that aren't busy right now."
"Yes, but several of the rooms are closed for repairs."
"Listen, I'm pretty desperate. I don't need a room."
So she takes his money and he goes upstairs with one of
the staff and, after looking for a place to consummate
the transaction, they decide to do it on the roof. But
it's a very cold night, and they freeze to death and
fall to the sidewalk. A passing drunk looks them over,
staggers to the door, and knocks.

"Go away!" says the madam. "We don't allow drunks in here!"

"I don't want in," says the drunk. "I just wanted to tell
you that your sign fell down." 

Consider the following:
Female guitar player shouting at her boyfriend in a
crowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart,
I need a new G string!"

A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day 
of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and 
a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to 
sweep out the store."

"But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give 
me the broom, I'll show you how."

Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses "I 
want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days." and Moses 
says "Yeah sure." So Jesus gets up and says "I think I'll walk on the 
water, that was always a good one." So Jesus walks over to the edge of the 
boat, steps into the water, and sinks like a stone. Moses drags Jesus back 
into the boat and revives him. Moses then says "What's the problem?" and 
Jesus says, "I think its the holes in my feet!"

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