Today's jokes [4.17.07]

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Why do women get PMS?

THEY JUST FUCKING DO ALRIGHT!?

"Mom, I'm pregnant."

"How can that be?  What did I tell you about sex?"

"That I should take measures.  That's what I did!  I took 
measures and then went with the biggest."

A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving
that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.
"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.
"Not according to my radar," the trooper said.
"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.
"No you weren't!" the trooper said.
With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said,
'Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when
he's been drinking." 

Why do elephants live in herds?
To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.

   A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so
   proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in
   spite of her objections.
   
   One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go
   home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
   shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"
   
   His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts back,
   "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
   

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