Today's jokes [4.15.07]

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The headmistress at a girls' prep school in the old South
   (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the
   officers: "We're having a social here at school and I was wondering if
   you could send some of your nice young men to attend." "Why of
   course," the Lieutenant answers. "Just one thing," says the lady. "Of
   course you'll make sure there aren't any Jews there." "Why of course,"
   the Lieutenant answers. On the day of the dance, a bus pulls up from
   the base. Out comes a platoon of black GIs. The schoolmistress is
   quite distressed. "Why, why, there must be some mistake," she says to
   a burly black Master Sergeant. "Why heck no, ma'am," he replies. "Lt.
   Goldberg NEVER makes a mistake!"

   A husky foreigner, looking for sex, accepted a prostitute's terms.
   When she undressed, he noticed that she had no pubic hair.
   The man shouted, "What, no wool? In my country all women have wool
   down there."
   The prostitute snapped back, "What do you want to do, knit or fuck?"
   

The angry wife met her husband at the door.  His breath stunk of
alcohol and his face was plastered with lipstick. "I assume," she
barked, "there is a very good reason for you to come drifting in
at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is!" he replied, "Breakfast."

Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A: They taste funny!!

What is the difference between a hockey game
                           and a High School reunion? 

At a hockey game you see fast pucks. 

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