Today's jokes [4.14.07]

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The young lady admired the watch in the store window every 
time she walked by it. She finally entered the shop one day 
and said, "Just how much is that watch?"

"It's $2000, ma'am."

"Hmmm. Well, would you consider time payments for it?"

"Just what sort of 'time schedule' did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking two times a week for the next two months."

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet?

They were both dating the same girl in high school.

Q: How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?

A: She unties you. 

"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned
his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?"
"Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport."
The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?"
"No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. "I'm always first out
of bed."
Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. "Well, does he go in for
unnatural connubial practices?"
"Shure now, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows anything about
the connubial."
Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on. "What I'm trying to find out are
what grounds you have."
"Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds."
"Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation,
"you need a reason that the court can consider. What is the reason for you
seeking this divorce?"
"Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man can't hold an
intelligent conversation."

The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were
shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man's
oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous
blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace,
the friend asked "How in the hell did YOU land a wife
like that?"
The old man whispered back, "Easy. I told her I was 90!"

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