Today's jokes [4.1.07]

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A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow
$200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what
kind of collateral he has. The man says 'I've got a
Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off
-- here are the keys.' 

Six months later the man comes into the bank, pays
back the $200 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains
possession of the Rolls Royce. 

The loan officer asks him, 'Sir, if I may ask, why
would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow
two hundred dollars?' 

The man answers, 'I had to go to Europe for six months,
and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that
long for ten dollars?' 

   Childhood Diseases
   Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed
   together for the first
   time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted
   and discolored. "What
   happened to you feet?" his wife asked. "I had a childhood disease
   called tolio." "Don't you
   mean polio?" "No, tolio, it only affects the toes." He then removed
   his pants and revealed
   an awful looking pair of knees. "What happened to your knees?" she
   asked. "Well, I also
   had kneesles." "Don't you mean measles?" "No, kneesles, it only
   affects the knees." When
   he removed his shorts his wife gasped and said, "Don't tell me, you
   also had smallcox!"
   

The Australian liberal party announced today that they are
changing their emblem to a condom
because it more clearly reflects their party's
political stance :

A condom stands up to inflation,
halts production,
discourages co-operation,
protects a bunch of dicks,
and gives one a sense of security while
screwing others.

How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game,
she will describe an object and the students will tell her
what she had described.

Teacher: "The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem." 
Timmy: " I know what it is, it's an apple." 
Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking." 
"OK the next item is round, has a peel, and you eat it."
Christopher: "I know what it is, it's an orange." 
Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking." 
Johnny: "Can I try, Teacher?" 
Teacher: "Yes Johnny, but, Keep it clean!" 
Johnny sticks his hands in his pockets and feels around for a
second, and says "My object is round, hard, and has a head on it." 
Teacher: "Alright Johnny, go to the office!" 
Johnny: "No Teacher, it's a quarter, but, I like the way you're thinking!" 

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