Today's stories [3.2.07]

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An American tourist in South America had the misfortune to be attacked
by killer bees as he stood on the bank of the Amazon. Seeking refuge,
he leapt into the river - and was devoured by piranha fish.

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
   her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was
   able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
   minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
   car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
   car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied
   "Yes Officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
   When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a
   Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
   at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near
   spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
   trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motorhome's
   sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
   charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
   The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
   Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded
   cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
   cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
   the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
   frustrated, walked away.


  

One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a
long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items 
had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the 
intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON 
LANETHIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at 
the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word Tampax" for 
"THUMBTACKS." In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the 
intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMBOR THE KIND
YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

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