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Today's quotes [3.15.07]

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"The knowledge that one is to be hanged in the moring sharpens one's
mind considerably"

1. 




A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. 

     - Samuel Goldwyn 

2. 




a) "Isn't the weather dreadful!"
b) "No, thanks."
c) "A beer, Charlie. Make it a cold one."
d) "Oh, I'm sorry. Was that _your_ child? Please, have her back.
   Good day! I beg your...? Fuck you too, Madam."
e) "Ateh! Malkuth! Ve Gevurah! Ve Gedulah! Le Olahm!!"
f) "Please come back, little person! I only playing! Ha! Caught
   you! Oh. You leaking, person! Wake up! Why you all go sleep?
   No fun! You people so boring!"
                        -- The Weirdness Test,
                        http://www.math.grin.edu/~hamilton/text/weirdness.txt


3. 




"... you never, for instance, hear people say, 'Is that a wad of undiscarded
 belly button fluff, or are you just glad to see me?'..."
                        -- The Usenet Oracle


4. 




You know, medicine is not an exact science, but we are learning
all the time. Why, just fifty years ago they thought a disease
like your daughter's was caused by demonic possession or witchcraft.
But nowadays, we know that Isabelle is suffereing from an imbalance
of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living
in her stomach. 

     - Theodoric of York, Saturday Night Live 

5. 



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