Today's quotes [3.1.07]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

Henry Kissinger once asked Chou En-Lai to theorize on what might
have happened if Nikita Khrushchev had been assassinated instead
of John F. Kennedy. 

After a moments thought, he answered:
"I don't believe Mr. Onassis would have married Mrs. Khrushchev." 

"Satan is my sad... pathetic... knob."
                        -- Alasdair McLellan

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that
   is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a
   hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and
   that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
   -- Mark Twain

"'Son I am able' she said 'though you scare me', 'Watch' said I, 'Beloved' I
 said 'Watch me scare you', 'Though' said she 'able am I son'..."
                        -- They Might Be Giants, "I Palindrome I"

"New York City: No matter how many times I visit this great city I'm
 always struck by the same thing: a yellow taxi cab."
                        -- Scott Adams, DNRC Newsletter 12.0

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   March '07 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31