Today's poems [3.27.07]

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There was a young girl of Bavaria 
            Who thought her disease ws malaria. 
                But the family doc 
                Remarked to her shock, 
            "It is in the mercurial area." 

Said a pretty young whore from Hong Kong
To a long pronged patron named Wong,
"They say my vagina's
The nicest in China;
Don't ruin it by donging it wrong." 

There once was a bishop from Nottingham 
            Who stood on a bridge down in Birmingham. 
                He watched all the stunts 
                Of the cunts in the punts 
            And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking
            them. 

There was an old maid of Nantucket
Had an asshole as big as a bucket.
While bent over the oven
A-dreamin' of lovin',
Her goat siezed the moment to fuck it. 

"Remind me, dear," said Sir John Keith, 
            "As soon as I've finished my teeth, 
                To take down this glass 
                And examine my ass 
            From behind---and of course from beneath." 

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