Today's poems [3.23.07]

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There was a young lady of Spain 
Who took down her pants on a train. 
There was a young porter 
Saw more than he orter, 
And asked her to do it again. 

               There once were two brothers named Luntz 
               Who buggered each other at once. 
                    When asked to account 
                    For this intricate mount, 
               They said, "Assholes are tighter than cunts." 

There was a young man of Datchet 
               Who cut off his prick with a hatchet. 
                    Then very politely 
                    He sent it to Whitely, 
               And ordered a cunt that would match it. 

               "There is a young girl here at Vassar 
               And none, for your needs, could surpass her. 
                    But she cannot detach it 
                    And much less dispatch it. 
               You'll still have to bach it. Alas, sir!" 

A proper young lady of Taos 
            Had her panties trimmed neatly with lace. 
                But a vulgar young man 
                Raped her roughly, and ran, 
            And left them pure panties in chaos. 

Razors pains you,
Rivers are damp;
Acids stains you'
And drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses gives;
Gases smells awful,
You might as well live.

         ---Anon

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