Today's poems [3.11.07]

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Here lies the bones of Screwy Dick,
He spent his whole life with a corkscrew prick,
He searched and he searched in the feudal hunt,
To find the woman with the corkscrew cunt.
He finally found her and then dropped dead,
The son-of-a-bitch had a left hand thread.


Sent by Todd

There is a professor named Martin 
                                        From whom I'm about to be partin', 
                                                      And on my way out, 
                                                      He may here me shout, 
                                        "It's your face I'd sure like to fart in." 

On clinkers his choice often fell,
Or clabbered piss brought to a jell.
When these palled to his tastes,
He tried snot and turd-paste,
And found them delicious as well.

An ingenious young scientist named Joan,
Dosed heavily on testosterone.
Then she diddled her slit 
With her much enlarged clit
And successfully sired her own clone.

Sent by Joan

               Winter is here with his grouch, 
               The time when you sneeze and slouch. 
                    You can't take your women 
                    Canoein' or swimmin', 
               But a lot can be done on a couch. 

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