Today's jokes [3.4.07]

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What would you do if you had a condum with a hole
in it in one pocket, and a rattle snake in the other pocket? 

     I don't know either, but I do know that I wouldn't screw with either one of them. 

   PUPPY LOVE

   A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs
   mating. The little boy
   asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, "Well, son,
   they're making a
   puppy." The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went
   from his bed to get a
   glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked
   unannounced into his parents
   bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.
   Confused, the boy
   asked what were they doing. The Dad responded very slowly and caringly
   to his
   impressionanle little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little
   brother. "The little boy
   replied ,"Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"
   

A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman. 
He asks, "Can I have a dozen condoms, Miss?" 
"Don't Miss me, mister." 
"Well then, you better make it 13." 

"Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?"
she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes.
"I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again."

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything!

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