Today's jokes [3.31.07] Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Q. What do gay men refer to hemorrhoids as? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A. Speed bumps
Noon in the jungle. Under a tree a lion tries to sleep, when he hears strange laughing. He rises and strolls to the bushes where the laughter seems to come from. Behind the bush a group of elephant bulls is sitting in a circle and they are laughing their heads off. Lion: "Hey elephants, why are you laughing?" Elephant: "We are fucking some monkeys" Lion: "Well, I do that as well, but I don't see what's so funny about it." Elephant: "Because they don't burst when YOU cum." (Alternatively, Elephant: "Because they don't turn inside-out when YOU pull it out.")
"May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."
Why do doctors slap babies when they are born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction. "Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?" "Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets."
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