Today's jokes [3.23.07]

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How does a man know when his wife is losing interest?

When her favorite sexual position is "next door"

   A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on
   the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the
   wife went on the ride by herself.
   
   The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out
   and landed in a heap at her husband's feet.
   
   "Are you hurt?" he asked.
   
   "Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't
   wave once!"
   

Chaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He 
gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man, 
"Are you Jewish?" The man says, "No." Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later, 
he asks, "You wouldn't happen to be Jewish would you?" The man replies, 
"No!" Joe immediately apologizes. Five minutes later he says, " Can I ask 
you a personal question....are you Jewish?" He shots, "NO!" Joe continues
like this for the next four hours. When the train stops, the man runs 
away. When he gets to the hotel, he realizes there is someone next to him. 
It is Joe. Joe asks, Say, are you Jewish?" The man is so fed up that he 
says, "Yes." Joe says, "That's funny...you don't look Jewish at all!"

And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Whom do men say 
that I am?"

And His disciples answered unto Him, "Master, 
thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation 
of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, 
divine, sacerdotal monarch."

And Jesus said, "What?"

It has been determined that having sex before participating
in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not
impair the athlete's performance. In fact, men have known
and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance
at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"

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