Today's jokes [3.14.07]

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During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy
back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a 
red faced colonel at the wheel.  "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked
the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.

"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the
keys, "*Yours* is."

There were two guys walking down the street
and they saw a dog licking his nuts.
One of the guys said. "Man I wish I could do that".
Then the other guy said, "Man that dog will bite you!"! 

Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving 
class, he dove out of the airplane and pulled the ripcord. The chute 
emerged, tangled, and he cut it free. He then pulled the cord on the 
reserve chute, and it also was tangled. He prayed to his God and looked 
down to the ground below. To his amazement, a woman was coming up with 
equal velocity. "Hey, you know anything about parachutes?" he shouted
to her, as they passed by. The reply: "No... you know anything about 
Coleman stoves?"

Two guys were out hunting, but they weren't getting any ducks. 
"What do you think the problem is?" one man asked his companion. 
"I dunno," came the reply, "Maybe we aren't throwing the dog up high 
enough."

Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving 
class, he dove out of the airplane and pulled the ripcord. The chute 
emerged, tangled, and he cut it free. He then pulled the cord on the 
reserve chute, and it also was tangled. He prayed to his God and looked 
down to the ground below. To his amazement, a woman was coming up with 
equal velocity. "Hey, you know anything about parachutes?" he shouted
to her, as they passed by. The reply: "No... you know anything about 
Coleman stoves?"

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