Today's stories [2.22.07]

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   It's not all that often a wife will confess her faults. Just the other
   nite my wife said, "Hon, I know I'm not the perfect wife. I realize
   I'm often too outspoken."
   
   Risking all manner of flying objects, I couldn't resist the temptation
   and calmly replied, "Oh, by whom dear ?"

When asked by the Pope (I forget which one) what the Catholic Church
could do for music, Igor Stravinsky is reputed to have answered without
hesitation: "Give us back castrati!" 

LONGEST TURD

The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a
'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially
measured at 12 ft 2 in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his
state.

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